Worzel Week – Day 3

All this week we'll be posting extracts from our fabumazing book, The quite very actual adventures of Worzel Wooface. In this instalment, the stray cat gets a name – sort of!

May 15

The stray cat is getting ignormous at the triangle end, though is still skinny everywhere else. She has been living in Mum and Dad’s bedroom for the past week or so, and is eating for Ingerland. She was doing quite actual well, and was being allowed to wander about the bedroom, but today she did start looking for places to hide and make a nest.

Her first choice of where to hide was rubbish, as we did all find her. Mum says she’s going to need socks over the next two months so her underwear drawer is actual out. Then the cat did decide that a hard shelf five feet off the floor would be an exerlent place to have her babies, which would be okay if she was having seagulls instead of kittens. Mum finks a nest somewhere nearer the ground might be actual safer. So the cat is going into a crate in the previously ginger one’s bedroom – where it is

quiet – to have her kittens. Mum is sad about this. That room shouldn’t be actual empty ...

The cat hasn’t been named as very such, but has just growed the name ‘Stray,’ which doesn’t usually happen here. The previously ginger one would never, HEVER have allowed this, and would have actual insistered that the cat was given a proper name, but everyboddedy has got too much actual stuff on their minds at the moment, and they seem to have forgotted about naming the stray.

No-one is allowed to get excited about cute-ickle-kittens, either, because, according to Dad, it could all go horribly wrong, and there be no kittens at the end. The stray is too young to be actual having babies, and half-starved as well, so noboddedy can be getting their hopes up.

The fuge ginger boyman says he is ‘working his bum off’ at Grannie Annie’s for his Hay Levels. And getting fat. He’s getting a cooked breakfast every day, so he has actual decided to stay at Grannie Annie’s until after his hexams are over. Mum says she can’t compete with a cooked breakfast every morning, and anyway, Grannie Annie has the world’s worst broadband connection, so he can’t play confuser games, which is probababbly a good fing. Mum is ever so very actual proud of him for being so serious and growed up about his hexams, and she’s glad it’s one less fing she has to worry about.

The quite very actual adventures of Worzel Wooface is available now over at the H&H website.

View an interview with the author, Cath Pickles, on our YouTube channel!